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Saturday, March 28, 2009

When you say "I Do"...

I love weddings! We're going to one this evening. The young couple have only been together a year, but they're very much in love and want to begin their life together. Can't blame 'em for that! I remember feeling exactly that way twenty-plus years ago. Hubby and I will celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary next month! I can say with all honesty I love that man more today than I did on our wedding day! He's my bestest friend in the whole wide world!

But...

I hate to pop this young couple's romantic bubble, but those "madly in love" feelings WILL NOT be the glue that holds their marriage together for the next fifty years. The love between a man and his wife must go so much deeper than that if you want the marriage to last.

What do I mean by "deeper"?

I mean you have to get to a place where you love your spouse more than you love yourself. I mean you have to work--literally work-- on your marriage daily. I mean you have invest in your marriage by spending time with each other in the same way you did while you were dating. Kids, jobs, life all pull you apart, so you have to really work at your relationship. Just because you got married doesn't mean everything will turn out rosy. I can say all this from twenty-two years of experience. Several years ago things weren't so great in my marriage. We'd grown distant. It felt like we were in two different boats on the same ocean. And let me tell you, those waters got pretty rough there for a while!

People also need to understand--I mean, really, truly understand--that the enemy of this world does not want your marriage to succeed! He will do everything he can to destroy it!! I guarantee the young couple getting married tonight will experience an attack on their relationship in the near future. They are both Christian's and Satan hates Christians! He hates Christian marriages, too. Remember how he whispered to Eve in the garden and convinced her to eat the fruit from the Tree of Life, even though God had told her not to? Well, Satan whispers to us, too. Things like, "You don't really love your husband. You probably never did. He doesn't understand you, but that guy at work sure does. He'd be a much better husband to you than this jerk you married!" Or maybe he'll whisper to a husband and say, "Your wife is one big nag. And she used to be pretty, but she's let herself go. That woman at the coffee shop you go to every morning is much better looking. And she really likes you. Maybe you should buy her a cup of coffee tomorrow."

Four years ago hubby and I attended the "Love and Respect" marriage conference which is based on the book of the same name by Dr. Emmerson Eggerich. If your marriage is in trouble, READ THIS BOOK! If your marriage is better than it ever was, READ THIS BOOK! Go to one of the conferences! They're held all around the country throughout the year and it's well worth the investment of time and money. I once heard this said about the hesitancy to spend money going to a marriage conference:

"People will spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding--the dress, the cake, the food, everything--but they aren't willing to spend a hundred bucks to avoid a divorce, which, again, will cost thousands of dollars."

So true.

If you are married, I pray your marriage will stand the test of time. There is nothing that cannot be forgiven and fixed. Nothing! Not adultery. Not apathy. Not lies and secrets. Nothing! Ask God to heal your marriage and make it new! Trust me, He can!!

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